Not great day today…

15 years ago I said: “Yes, I do” to the most wonderful man on the planet. 15 years married, 16 years together, our crystal anniversary and
I am spending this day in the hospital. It supposed to be simple and quick, morning CT scan.  Nurses and doctor couldn’t get the needle in. After couples of tries I fainted.  When I said enough, the doctor sent me to the chemo ward to sort out this problem. I was waiting there for quite some time getting more stressed, upset and sad. Why is this happening to me? Is it real? I have enough, I am fed up. I am trying to be strong, but today I couldn’t cope with all those things happening to me and my family. I’ve started to feel pity and cry.  I should be spending this day with my husband, enjoying the day, having a date or something! I am only 38 years old!

I love Tom. He is my rock. We are fighting my cancer together.  Just we are not the same people, not the same family anymore. Everything is about this disease, hospital appointments, treatments etc.  Our hearts and minds are full of fear, sadness and worries.  I am so, so upset that my illness ruins so many other lives!

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